Welcome to the Team Kyle Mensing

We’re excited to welcome the newest member of our Blue Ion marketing team: Kyle Mensing.

Kyle is the first employee to join the Blue Ion Greenville office. He comes to us way of Greer Development Corporation where he helped attract and place new businesses in Greer, SC. In addition to finding and analyzing commercial real estate, he’s helped many Greer businesses succeed digitally via an array of marketing campaigns.

Welcome to the team, Kyle!

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What three words would your family use to describe you?

“Afraid of gerbils”. Not lying, I asked.

A six-year-old child asks you if Santa Claus is real…. What do you say?

Where are your parents? Didn’t they teach you not to talk to strangers?

What would your pet say about you if we asked for a reference?

The dogs would say that 80% of the time I feed them on time every time, then they would compliment my cuddliness. The cats would probably say something rude because they’re jerks.

What is the funniest thing that has happened to you recently?

Last fall my wife and I went apple picking in North Carolina with some friends. As we all know, the best apple picking technique requires climbing the trees. As I was doing my best Rhesus monkey impression the leg of my jeans snagged on my knee and made a lovely rending sound. They had ripped from crotch to knee along the inseam. I finished the day with a flannel shirt tied cockeyed around my waist and an unceasing torrent of laughter from my apple picking companions.

What makes you a Unicorn?

Ever since the operation it’s no longer the horn so I would say my luscious mane, multi-faceted skill set (I can break a wide variety of things), and a voice that is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

Describe the color yellow to someone who is blind.

It’s smooth like a banana, warm like the sun, and tangy like French’s mustard. Alternatively, FEDD00.

If you could get rid of any one state, which would it be and why?

Pennsylvania. It takes too long to drive through. Seriously, it lasts forever.

Are you more of a hunter or a gatherer?

Gatherer I suppose, I don’t look too hard for stuff at the grocery store. I don’t “hunt” for it, if you will.

What is always in your refrigerator?

Beer, cheese, butter, and bacon. All the major food groups basically.

It’s 5pm. What are you drinking?

Depends. 5 pm and I just finished cutting the grass? Probably a PBR. 5 pm and at the office? Either water or whatever Casey just handed me.

You have to spend one week on one ride at Disney World, which one do you pick?

Swiss Family Treehouse, because it seems easy to habitate. Or Space Mountain, because Space Mountain is awesome.

You’re having a bad day, what makes it better?

Hugging my wife and petting my dogs. And laughter, which the aforementioned trio usually provide.

How many Cruises have you been on and which was your favorite? Why?

4, but it’s really like 2 1/2 because I just kind of repeated each itinerary. Alaska, because I like mountains more than beaches.

If you could choose only one song to play every time you walked into a room what would it be?

The Final Countdown by Europe (the band, not the continent).

What do you want to do when you grow up?

TBD, but something fun.