Employee Spotlight: Lauren Stitely

At Blue Ion, we realize that our work is a reflection of who we are as individuals and our success is a direct result of all the different personalities, talents, runway life experiences, and weird senses of humor that each of our employees brings to the table. This diverse group of cake haters dedicated employees is what makes Blue Ion so freaking awesome.  To celebrate these differences, we’re going to be highlighting one employee every week (except last week, because I was on vacation) so you can get to know us a little better and learn what makes us tick. This week’s Employee Spotlight is one of our newest employees:

Lauren Stitely


Stitely, Larr, Pook(ie), Stir Key (autocorrect version of my last name)

What would be the title of your autobiography?
Pookie, I’m About to Burn This Motha’ Down

What is your theme song?
The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson…but if this is supposed to be referred to as in, ‘What song would the stadium play if you were up to bat?’ then it would be Next Episode by Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre.

If you could witness any historical event, what would you want to see?


When you were 6 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?

If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?
I love heights so flying would be grand.

If you were a cupcake, what flavor would you be?
Funfetti with cream cheese icing…but I don’t like cupcakes.

Which cartoon character would you most like to switch lives with?
Patti Mayonaise

Lauren Mayonnaise

What celebrity do people think you look like?
My 3rd grade teacher used to call me Julia after Julia Roberts because I had HUGE teeth.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
An arepa when I was in Venezuela. It did not end well.

What’s your Smurf name?
Dr. Smurf, apparently.

What one food do you wish had zero calories?
Extremely close tie between butter, chocolate, and beer.

What would you like to be famous for?
 Being a supermodel

Lauren Model

What was your favorite toy as a child?
My craft station (rain) or basketball (shine)

If you could only drink one beer for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Michelob Ultra only because I know for a fact I can drink a lot of them.

If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?
My aunt’s spaghetti, homemade bread, a roll of cookie dough and a (huge) bottle of red wine

If you were a Crayola crayon, what color would you be?
Yellow then I would be guaranteed a spot in every picture drawn by anyone under the age of 7 (because they all have a sun).

Lauren SUN

If your house was burning down, what’s the one non-living thing you would save?
A quilt my Nana gave me that was hand-sewn from my great grandmother’s dresses.

Would you rather be a tiny elephant or a giant hamster?
Tiny elephant?!

If you were to write a self-help book, what would the topic be?
No Formal Training Required

What tv show/movie are you ashamed to admit you love?
Gossip Girl

L Dancing

Thanks to Lauren for supplying your own photographs (even though I didn’t use most of them in the way you intended). Glad to have you on the team! You can follow Lauren on LinkedIn and Pinterest. You can also learn more about all things Stitely by visiting our main Blue Ion site.