Employee Spotlight: Chris Simpson

At Blue Ion, we realize that our work is a reflection of who we are as individuals and our success is a direct result of all the different personalities, talents, child endangerment life experiences, and weird senses of humor that each of our employees brings to the table. This diverse group of man-children dedicated employees is what makes Blue Ion so freaking awesome.  To celebrate these differences, we’re going to be highlighting one employee every week so you can get to know us a little better and learn what makes us tick. This week’s Employee Spotlight is

Chris Simpson


What are your Nicknames?
Simps, Simp-o, Simpy, in high school I was just “favre.”
What would be the title of your autobiography?
The world’s biggest dork.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
The banana peel in elementary school to impress some girl. It was gross. And she wasn’t impressed.
What one food do you wish had zero calories?
If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?
Be in two places at once. I hate being away from my family all day long.
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Would you rather be a tiny elephant or a giant hamster?
Tiny elephant; less chance of being eaten or hunted. Although my tiny ivory tusks might be highly valued.
What was your favorite toy as a child? 
GI Joes. My mom still has a giant box of them. Bet they’re worth something now. The ones that still have arms.
What’s your Smurf name? 
Soccer smurf.
If you were on death row, what would your last meal be? 
I probably wouldn’t be hungry. Maybe cheetos. Would be interesting experiment to see what happens with the cheese on my fingers as electrical current passes through it.
What is your theme song? 
“Can’t, stop, thinking about tomorrow.”
When you were 6 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I didn’t want to grow up. I distinctly remember telling my mom I would not get older than 11.

If you were a cupcake, what flavor would you be?
Which cartoon character would you most like to switch lives with?
Scooby-doo. I bet those snacks are delicious.
If you could witness any historical event, what would you want to see? 
The resurrection of Jesus.
If you could only drink one beer for the rest of your life, what would it be? 
Negra Modelo.
What celebrity do people think you look like?
It used to be Brett Favre, but I get Ryan Reynolds all the time (seriously, ask my wife).

What would you like to be famous for?
An awesome dad and husband.
What tv show/movie are you ashamed to admit you love? 
Don’t watch much TV, but I like to watch the cartoon Oscar’s Oasis with my son. A modern day road runner.
If your house was burning down, what’s the one thing you would save?
Not the cat.
If you were to write a self help book, what would the topic be?
How to say “no” to things that aren’t important.
If you were a Crayola crayon, what color would you be? 


Thanks to Chris for answering my weird questions and for being awesome and helping get me hired and stuff. Hopefully he’s not regretting that decision after this post… You can follow Chris on Instagram or you can also learn more about Chris by visiting our main Blue Ion website.