Defining Moments: A Profound Op-Ed From Blue Ion’s Greatest Thinkers

My colleague Ansley Jones (AJ) and I (ES) have important viewpoints that deserve to be heard. We appreciate having this safe space to share our feedback on some of the most critical moments in American history. Here they are, in no particular order. Please feel free to comment with your own memories of these events’ impacts.

Michael Jackson in 2004: the primetime documentary series and holding Baby Blanket over the balcony

  • ES – That documentary… was TRANSFIXING! Hilarious how utterly perplexed the British interviewer was by Neverland Ranch. They had a strange scene together on a ferris wheel. Michael Jackson’s nose slowly started to disappear after this string of events.
  • AJ – Imagine if he did the balcony thing in 2018.

That time Angelina Jolie kissed her brother on the red carpet

  • ES – WOAH! If I remember correctly, she also kept her brother’s blood in a vial around her neck.
  • AJ – They were into the incest vibes before Game of Thrones made it cool again.

Princess Diana’s death

  • ES – R.I.P. Big fan of Elton John’s re-do of Candle in the Wind for her funeral.
  • AJ – Goodbye Norma Jean England’s Rose

Ariana Grande cupcake licking

  • ES – Whenever I put my hair in a ponytail, I hope it’s as long as Ariana’s ponytail. It never is.
  • AJ – Maybe the tightness of her ponytail clouded her judgement

Kanye and Kim recording Taylor Swift’s reaction to new Kanye song

  • ES – Hot fire.
  • AJ – #savage but it was time for T.Swizzle to be taken down a few pegs, amiright

OJ Simpson bronco chase

  • ES – What thrilling television! My family had a red bronco.
  • AJ – What unremarkable and totally not suspicious behavior

Sug Knight at ’95 Source Awards / Biggie vs. Tupac

  • ES – I’ve read accounts about how insane this particular award show was because of the east coast – west coast rapper debacle. People were armed and ready to brawl at this show. Imagine getting dissed as hard as P. Diddy did. I was scared of Sug Knight as a kid and still am. Is he in jail? Did he murder Biggie?
  • AJ – I’m sorry, but Kanye had one of the best award show disses of all time!

South Park creators wearing dresses to an award show

  • ES – Matt Lauer also once wore a version of J.Lo’s dress for a Halloween episode of the Today Show.
  • AJ – One of the great questions of our time: who wore it better?

Kony 2012

  • ES – Did Kony take over yet?
  • AJ – If all the celebrity tweets and bumper stickers didn’t stop this man, nothing will

DJ Khaled’s pronunciation of jewelry

  • ES – I have a hard time pronouncing DJ Khaled’s pronunciation of jewelry.
  • AJ – It ain’t even bout the jerly.

Nicki Minaj vs. Cardi B

  • ES – Team Cardi! Throwing a shoe is a real power move.
  • AJ – I’ve never thought about trying to beat someone up and actually followed through with it, so props for that Carbi D.

Kanye’s Twitter presence

  • ES – Pure brilliance, and the only reason I use Twitter.
  • AJ – There’s a Kanye tweet for any occasion.

Sally Fields Oscar speech

  • ES – Finally realized the origins of “you like me, you really like me”.
  • AJ – Thanks for the instagram tagline, Sally.

Miley Cyrus 2013 VMA performance

  • ES – Was this the advent of twerking?
  • AJ – She was just bein’ Miley and TBH I miss her being the source of society’s outrage. Simpler times.

Ashlee Simpson SNL lip sync

  • ES – Her boyfriend Ryan Cabrera and all his puka neaklaces…what a babe!
  • AJ – The moment I was diagnosed with Secondhand Embarrassment Syndrome.

Janet Jackson Super Bowl nip slip

  • ES – Seems like a v. convenient “mistake”.
  • AJ – Nothing helps you stay relevant like scandalizing NFL fans.

Britney in ’07

  • ES – I didn’t get it then, but I totally get it now. I might have come close to this level of meltdown, but am not rich enough to fully indulge, nor do I ever have an umbrella on me.
  • AJ – Barefoot in a gas station bathroom is a life low point I never wish to experience.

First time you saw Drake out of a wheelchair

  • ES – Honestly, this was jarring. It was on MTV Spring Break. I wondered “what is Jimmy doing out of his wheelchair, and why is he rapping?” Also, “Is that Lil Wayne behind him?”
  • AJ – You’d think all the life lessons he learned at Degrassi High would make him a better artist, but here we are.

David Hasselhoff eating drunk hamburger

  • ES – No judgement. Many of us have been there. The difference being that video does not exist (or… does it?!)
  • AJ – I’m relieved there’s no video evidence of me finding out that Jimmy Johns closes at 3am.

James Frey + Oprah Million Little Pieces book

  • ES – I used to watch Oprah in my dorm room at Coastal Carolina every day at 4:00pm. Oprah’s Book Club had a big influence on my buying decisions. I saw she and James Frey’s first interview, bought the book in the airport while flying home for Christmas break, and when I went back to school – the news was out that the story was fake. I was horrified. Can you imagine lying to Oprah!?
  • AJ – Career Advice: Don’t make Oprah look bad.

Madonna and Britney at VMAs

  • ES – This was a supposed “passing of the torch” from Madonna to Britney via kiss. Not sure that worked out like they planned.
  • AJ – The salad days of pop culture scandals.